It doesn't get better than this. The Guardian's immensely funny Lucy Mangan and Hadrian's Wall, all in one column:
Of course [Hadrian's Wall] seizes the juvenile imagination. When you're pretty much at the den/fort-building stage yourself, nothing could please you more than the notion that one man could look upon his corner of empire, see the happy people to the south learning to drink watered wine without pulling faces, getting to grips with Latin and spices, maybe even nibbling on a dormouse, while the warrior hordes to the north remained unpersuaded by the delights of civilisation ("Dinnae care for it ma self, ye ken?" "Aye, ah ken, Jimmy. Let's maraud!") and announce, "You know what could sort this out? A bloody great wall. Simple, yet effective. I'll make it 15 feet high and up to 10 feet wide in places, and I'll use lots of berms to give schoolchildren thousands of years from now – especially those growing up during the Anglo-French-policeman-in-'Allo-'Allo era – something to laugh about while they are learning of my enduring feat of engineering. Go to it, legions. I reckon you can throw something pretty decent up in about six years, and I'll bring you extra rodent rations."
Full story here. One of the few reasons to get up on a Saturday.
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